Posts tagged "Jokes"

The Simple Golf Swing

Simple Golf Swing

Add amazing distance to every drive and cut your handicap by up to twelve strokes with the only instruction system proven to help almost any golfer break 80.

Can you handle the truth?

Most club pros don’t think so. And certainly none of the other golf instruction sites will tell you what I’m about to.

You’ll never develop a swing like Tiger’s. Or for that matter, Mickelson’s, Els’s, Daly’s or Garcia’s.

To be frank, no matter how hard you try or how often you practice, odds are you’ll NEVER be able to swing the club like the top tour pros.

Why? Because, like most of us, you weren’t born with their physical ability.

Besides, each of the big-money pros has a swing that’s unique to his (or her) physique. It’s hardwired into the DNA. That’s how they got to be big-money pros.

Does that mean you’ll never play better than you play right now? That you’re doomed to be a duffer? The butt of countless jokes from your buddies? A study in frustration?

No! Nein! Nyet! Non!! No way!

Because there’s another, more important truth.

It doesn’t matter if you can’t copy Tiger.
Or any of the top tour pros. You don’t have to even try. You shouldn’t try.
Because I’m going to help you develop a swing guaranteed to help you Play better golf than you ever thought possible in two short weeks or I’ll send your money back.
Actually, it’s more than a swing. It’s a whole System. But don’t let that scare you. It’s very simple. That’s the beauty of it. And why I call it

The Simple Golf Swing System™

Click here to get your copy today.

I created it specifically for the average (and below average) golfer who wants to

Get better. Fast.
How much better? With the Simple Golf Swing System

* You’ll hit the ball straighter and further than you ever hit before.
* You’ll hit with greater distance and accuracy every time.
* You’ll hit more greens and get the ball consistently close to the pin.
* You’ll wonder what ever happened to that awful slice you used to have.
* You’ll gain a new outlook on golf with greater confidence in your game. Because you’re armed with a proven system that actually works!

How fast? I’m glad you asked.

* You’ll learn the Simple Golf Swing in just three hours.
* You’ll lower your score by at least seven strokes within the first two rounds.
* You’ll start playing the best golf of your life by week two.
* You’ll drop at least 12 strokes off your handicap at the end of two weeks.
* You’ll be a different golfer in a month. That old bogey plus golfer that was you will be totally transformed. Just imagine the look on the faces of your golfing buddies.

You see, my goal is to have break 80 within 60 days. No matter what you’re shooting now.

Impossible? Not by a long shot.
In fact, it’s been proven time and time again that
With the Simple Golf Swing System almost any golfer can break 80 regardless of physical ability.
Now I realize there’s a lot of hype on the Internet and I don’t blame you for being a little skeptical.

So don’t take my word. Take a look at this recent email.
Listen to Fred!

Listen to Fred!
David,

I purchased your book about a month ago. What a difference it has made in my swing and my game. The improvement was significant.

Where were you years ago? I highly recommend your book on a Simple Swing to anyone that has difficulty hitting the ball straight.

Thank you it truly improved my game.

Fred

That email and thousands more like it help explain why

The Simple Golf Swing System is the most popular golf instruction system offered on the entire Internet.
In fact…

More than 19,000 golfers in 36 countries on six continents swear our System fixed their swing problems once and for all.

Click here to get your copy today.

Paul
http://www.articlesbase.com/golf-articles/the-simple-golf-swing-1149514.html

Rednecks at the golf course?

Two rednecks are playing golf behind two flamingly effeminate golfers who are just flitting about after every shot, every putt, everything.
The rednecks are getting so mad watching the unmacho behavior of the two at the "gentleman’s game," so they decide they’re going to hit into them to get off.
The rednecks’ shots are getting dangerously close to the two gays, and finally, a shot from one of the rednecks hits one of the gays on the head and it knocks him out cold.
The other gay is in an angry panic, shaking his friend to get up, "Felipe! Felipe! Get up! Get up!"
He shouts at the rednecks, "You bad men! We are going to sue you!"
One of the rednecks yelled back, "You ain’t gonna sue us! I’d just as soon suck your winney!"
The gay heard that and started shaking his friend,"Felipe! Felipe! Get up! Hurry! They want to settle out of court!"

That was cool… but why is everyone so easily offended by jokes? Soon, we won’t be able to tell jokes about anything..
I am a redneck… or at least I was, until my sunburn went away..
See, it is all in fun.

To Play Better Golf – Putting Consistently Will Help

Do you get excited at the thought of putting? Does it give you a high to go to the range it spend an hour on your putting? I ask these questions leading into the idea that your putting could be costing you several strokes every round.

Now picture this scenario. How many times have you gotten to the green in regulation only to “three-jack” your putts and walk off with bogey or worse? I have done it more times than I want to think, and it is humiliating to say the least!

golf putting seems so basic and easy and yet to make 50% of your 8 foot putts is very difficult. I have always looked at putting practice as boring, so I never use to do it. Big mistake that was! The more I ignored my putting, the more strokes I was leaving on the greens from every round I played.

I can’t tell you how many times a I killed a long drive down the middle, got to the green in regulation, and 3-putted more holes than I can count. Not a pretty picture, and one that is the brunt of all the jokes after the round.

Does this sound familiar? Do you have putting woes that jack up your scores beyond where they should be? If so, keep reading as I want to burn in your brain the importance of golf putting and practice.

Practicing your putting doesn’t have to be boring. In fact there are many excellent golf putting aids that can keep you focused and really get you dialed in on your putting. I have taken my putting aid to the practice green and spent over an hour there. That’s unheard of for me! I have to laugh now.

These putting aids are very effective at helping you groove a perfect putting stroke that will hold up for 18 holes. In fact, after taking my putting more seriously, I dropped 5 strokes of my score and I was already a 9 handicap!

Now you’ve got to do some research at your local golf store to find the putting aid that will work for you. Hopefully you can even try one out before you buy it. Doing this gives you an idea of how effective it will be and if you will stick with it.

Some of these aids may seem hokey! Don’t take those seriously. Look at the ones that will directly help your putting stroke and tempo. Thank goodness there are not as many golf putting aids as there are clubs!

The bottom line to lowering your scores is to practice your putting! Putting is over 40% of your score…don’t ignore it!

Mike Pedersen
http://www.articlesbase.com/golf-articles/to-play-better-golf-putting-consistently-will-help-59227.html